Temporary jobs, Interviews and Anger

I've managed to snag a temporary job with the U.S. Census Bureau. I attended a training session on Tuesday to learn how to fingerprint new recruits (like myself). Without going into detail, let me just say it was a somewhat frustrating day that began with me backing into the training instructor's Lexus. I was barely moving, and there was no damage done, but what a way to start the day. There's another training meeting next Tuesday and I'm assuming after we complete that we'll actually be working. I hope so. I need the money. My car is in the shop today to get over $400 worth of work done. I cried when they told me how much it's going to cost. It's going to have to go on my credit card - the only way I can pay for it. I did have an interview on Monday for a full time permanent position, but the way my luck's been running I don't hold much hope that I'll be chosen. They said they will make a final decision within two weeks. Guess I'll see.

One thing I've discovered in the last several months is I am extremely quick to anger these days. I realize the cause of this anger, but seem unable to keep myself from fuming over things that never used to bother me before. Sometimes I kid myself it's just that the older I get the more things bother me, but I come back to the realization that the last 2-1/2 years have pretty much dissolved any good will I had towards most people and things. Whereas I once would have tried to understand the basis for someone's rude behavior, now I immediately decide they aren't worth a break. Case in point - I had to drive out yesterday to where the census people are holding court to sign some paper work. It's a small building with a small parking lot. Every parking spot was taken and people had begun parking in the grass and on the sidewalks. As I'm cruising through the parking lot I see someone has come from the opposite direction of the aisle and parked slanted across two parking spots. Normally I would just roll my eyes, question their upbringing and forget about it. After I found an empty spot of muddy grass at the far end of the lot, I grabbed a sticky note out of my purse and wrote a note commenting on their rudeness. Then as I passed the car to get to the door I stuck it on the driver's side window where they couldn't miss it. Did it make me feel any better? Of course not. But I did it anyway.

Yesterday I also received the bill for sitting for four hours at a local hospital to get some new prescriptions. I was told it would be $137. The bill is for $259. I'm in contact with them to see why the discrepancy - but it's just one more thing being piled on my rapidly collapsing paper plate.

I've always been a pretty positive person and considered myself a happy person as well. With all the negative things that have continued to happen I've lost any sense of positivity and have to struggle to tamp down my anger. Sometimes I'm not so successful at it - as yesterday shows. I know I'm not the only person who's been affected by this downturn and there are many that are much worse off than I am. I just wonder how they manage to cope. And how when things continue to go wrong in all aspects of your life you don't just start screaming.